Regrets
by Laura415
Summary: Grissom thought Sara regretted it, Sara thought Grissom regretted it. What happenes when they finally know the truth. Has a major twist :D My first attempt at a one-shot. GSR of course :D Now rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi...well this a story that i thought of a while ago. I'm a little stuck with one of my other stories 'beginning to end' so this is a break for now. This is only a one-shot but i might take it further. This is my first time at a one-shot so i hope it's good. :) _**

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own anything...apart from the name of the little boy...everything else belongs to CBS :)_**

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Sara Sidle made her way through the halls of the Las Vegas Crime Lab. She stopped at the front desk and greeted the woman behind it "hey Judy" Sara smiled. Judy was a little shocked but composed herself quickly and smiled back "hey Sara, welcome back. Dr Grissom is in his office if you're looking for him".

"I am, thanks Judy" Sara replied and made her way to Gil Grissom's office. As she rounded the corner she saw Warrick, looking intently at the open folder in his hands, "Warrick" she called and he looked up at hearing his name. Warrick grinned and closed the folder as he stopped in front of her and gave her a hug "hey girl, long time no see, how ya been? And who's this little man?" Warrick asked as he saw a small fair haired boy, around the age of 2, holding Sara's hand. "I've been good" Sara smiled and looked down at the little boy "he's my son...his name is James". Sara smiled as Warrick bent down so he was eye level with James "hey James, my name's Warrick but you can call me Uncle Rick"

"Uncle Ick" James said proudly and gave Warrick a hug. Warrick hugged him back then allowed him to step back to his mom's side. "No daddy, where daddy?" James asked and Warrick raised his eyebrow at Sara as he stood up and ruffled James' hair. Sara half smiled, no explanation was needed as Warrick had already guessed, and was probably right at whom James' father was. "Is this why you left?" Warrick asked as he motioned for Sara to follow him. "Yes and no...I didn't know I was pregnant until after I left... a few months after I left actually" Sara smiled sadly. Warrick looked at her, his eyes full of sadness and nodded once in understanding.

Warrick lead Sara to the break room "hey guys, look who I found in the corridor" Warrick said to the occupants as him and Sara walked into the break room. Three heads turned and gasped at the sight of Sara. Greg immediately jumped up and practically ran towards Sara to give her a hug, a big hug in which Sara had to stop him "can't breathe Greg" she said and he let go immediately "sorry I've just missed you that's all" he admitted with a slight blush and Sara smiled "I've missed you too Greg" they both smiled before Nick pushed in front and gave Sara his big old Texas hug "good to have you back Sar...don't ever go again" he said.

"Erm, well I don't actually know how long I'm going to be here..." a tug on her trouser leg caused her to look down "daddy?" James asked again and Sara picked him up. Catherine, Nick and Greg let out another gasp as they saw James for the first time.

"We'll see daddy soon" Sara said to her son and he seemed to let the daddy question drop as he looked at Nick, Greg then Catherine. He held his arms out to Nick who hesitated to take him at first, James looked into his eyes for a few seconds "no daddy" he said then looked round and held his arms out to Catherine who took him, he looked into her eyes then said the same thing "no daddy" and finally held his arms out to Greg who also hesitated to take him at first. For some reason James took longer looking into Greg's eyes but soon said "no daddy" then looked at Sara sadly "daddy?" he asked and his bottom lip began to tremble and his eyes filled with tears.

Sara took him from Greg and kissed his forehead "I promise you'll get to see daddy soon but mommy has to talk to him before you can see him okay?" James nodded, not really understanding the talk bit but whatever it was he wanted it to be done quickly so he could meet his daddy.

The room was filled with an awkward silence as the team immediately figured out whom James' father was, Greg was the first to speak "is he why you left?... Grissom I mean. Did he fire you once he found out about James?" Greg asked, getting angrier with each question. Sara saw the anger in his eyes and shook her head "no Greg..." she sighed, she maze well tell them, they deserved to know why she left so suddenly. She walked over to the sofa and sat down, placing James next to her, the guys all sat down in a seat and Sara took a deep breath before speaking. "As you all know I got pulled over for a DUI before I left... well the night of the DUI Grissom took me home, he made me a coffee to sober me up, even though I wasn't really that drunk...".

"...Anyway I don't know who made the first move but we ended up in my bed... in the morning he'd gone. I couldn't bear to see him after what we did and knowing that it meant nothing to him so I left, a few months later I got ill. I thought it was just a normal stomach bug at first until I realised I'd missed my period. I did a test but it came back negative but I made an appointment with the doctor who did an ultrasound and confirmed that I was in fact pregnant..." Sara swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing. "I wanted to come back and tell him, but my mind kept going into overdrive and all I could think about was if he didn't want me then he wouldn't want my baby" Sara stopped and began to let the tears fall.

Warrick, who was sat on the arm of the chair next to her, placed his hand on her back and pulled her into a hug. James looked up at Sara and crawled onto her lap "mommy no cry" he said and Sara smiled at him as she stroked his hair "its okay James, mommy's okay" she wiped her tears and James snuggled into her. She looked round at the guys but saw a figure in the doorway, when she saw who it was her heart nearly stopped and her body tensed. The look in his eyes told her that he'd heard everything she said, he slowly made his way towards her and sat on the table opposite her.

"I didn't regret what happened between us Sara. I woke up and you were still asleep, I wanted to surprise you so I thought about making you breakfast in bed but you had nothing in your cupboards so I went down to the local cafe. When I came back you where gone, I figured that you'd regretted what happened". Grissom said softly, looking into her eyes. Sara hiccupped and bit her lip as new tears began to fall "I'm sorry, I didn't know, I just thought..." she stopped when she felt Grissom's hand on her cheek "no Sara, I should have wrote a note. I know that now and I'm sorry" he brushed her tears away with his thumb "I love you Sara" he said quietly and that's all it took for Sara to literally break down.

James looked up quickly and placed his hands on Sara's cheek "no cry mommy no cry!" he shouted as his bottom lip trembled and tears filled his eyes. Sara wiped her tears quickly and hugged James "hey, don't you start crying mister. You don't want daddy to see you crying do you?" James pulled away from the hug "daddy?" he asked again in excitement.

"I'm sure his daddy would make him happy again" Grissom said and James turned at hearing a new voice, he wasn't really paying attention a few minutes ago as he was playing with Sara's jacket buttons. He turned fully so that he could get a better look and just like he did with Catherine, Greg, Warrick and Nick he searched Grissom's eyes. What he found was exactly what he had been looking for "daddy!" he shouted loudly and quickly scrambled from Sara's lap into Grissom's lap where he gave Grissom a big hug and began to bounce excitedly "daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy" he repeated over and over again and everyone laughed.

Grissom grinned with pride as he hugged his son for the first time, Sara grinned as she watched them and wiped away the first happy tear she'd had since James' birth.

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**_So what do you guys think? was it good? bad? what? _**

**_If you think this story should be taken further let me know...i already have a few ideas on what i want to do for the next few chapters :D _**

**_Thank you for reading... please review :) xxxxx  
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	2. Chapter 2

**It's me again lol i've had quite a few reviews on my last chapter and although some didn't want another chapter (or they felt it wasn't necassery) either way most of the reviews I had wanted the story to continue so that's what i have done :) This is the second chapter and I hope you enjoy it as much as you did the first chapter :) x**

**I OWN NOTHING APART FROM THE LITTLE BOY...AND THE IMAGINATION OF WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT :D**

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**Three hours later Sara and Grissom were seated at Grissom's breakfast bar. The guys had played with James for a while until he had become tired in which Grissom had then insisted that they stay the night at his. Sara had agreed as she didn't have anywhere else to go and didn't want to argue with him. James had fallen asleep on the ride to Grissom's and was now fast asleep in Grissom's bed while Sara and Grissom sat quietly with a cup of coffee. They had hardly spoken a word to each other since they walked into the house. As they sat at the breakfast bar all they could think about was what's going to happen now? Sara was the first to speak "Grissom?"

"Gil" he replied.

"Huh?" Sara asked confused.

"Call me Gil..." he turned to look at her "I meant what I said Sara. I love you, I have since the day I met you and I'm sorry that it took me so long to tell you. I want this to work, I want us to work".

"But..."

"No but's Sara, you and James are the most important things in my life now and there is no way that I'm going to let you leave again"

"I haven't got anywhere to stay Gri...Gil. I have to go back until I get a place out here"

"No you don't Sara, you can stay with me... live here with me?" Grissom asked, he was ready to make this work and wanted Sara and James under his roof so they could be a proper family.

"Gil...I..."

Grissom grabbed her hands "please Sara? That night was the best night of my life. When I woke up and saw you I knew I wanted to wake up and see your face every morning for the rest of my life. When you left it broke my heart, I didn't want to sleep, eat and most of all I didn't want to go to work because I knew I wouldn't see your face or see your cute gap-toothed smile or hear your laugh again. I prayed every day for you to come back to me. Please Sara, don't leave me? Let me see your face when I open my eyes? Live here?" Grissom sounded a little desperate and frankly he was.

Sara was overwhelmed at how much Grissom had just admitted. Tears fell down her cheeks and all she could was nod her head and let out a squeaky "yes" before she fell into his chest and cried happily. Grissom grinned and hugged her as he kissed her head. A few minutes later Sara had calmed down enough to pull away from him, she wiped her eyes and smiled at him "I love you too Gil"

They grinned at each other and Grissom pulled her head to his and let his lips move across hers in a slow love filled kiss that left Sara weak at the knees. It was a good thing that she was sat down or she would have fallen down from the intensity of the kiss. Grissom pulled away after a few minutes and leaned his forehead against Sara's, their breathing a little rapid from the kiss, they stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Grissom spoke "you should get some rest, it's been a long day. You can take my bed with James, I'll stay on the sofa" he suggested and Sara shook her head "no Gil, I can't kick you out of your own bed. We'll all stay in your bed" Sara said as she wrapped her arms around Grissom's neck and smiled. Grissom smiled back and stood up, he took Sara's hand and lead her upstairs to his bedroom. As they made their way up the stairs Sara spoke "Gil I haven't got anything to sleep in."

"That's okay, you can sleep naked. It's not like I haven't seen your body before" he chuckled as she smacked him playfully on the arm. He turned to look at her and noticed her cheeks were a little flushed. He chuckled again and kissed her lips quickly before going into the bedroom. He went over to a draw and pulled out an old shirt then handed it to Sara "here, you can wear this" he smiled as she took the shirt and thanked him.

Grissom stripped down to his boxers and Sara was a little surprised at how easily he could just strip in front of her. Sara moved into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later in Grissom's shirt. Grissom was propped up against the headboard and smiled as he watched Sara walk over and climb into his bed. They settled down, with James still fast asleep in between them, and mouthed I love you at the same time which caused both of them to grin at each other. Grissom reached over and took hold of Sara's hand and entwined their fingers, letting their hands rest in between them and Sara smiled at him. They closed their eyes and fell into a piece full sleep.

A soft cry filled the room a few hours after Sara and Grissom went to sleep which woke them both up. Sara immediately lifted James and knew what he needed, this had been the routine for a few night in the past few months "okay one minute" Sara said sleepily. Grissom quickly sat up, even though he was still half asleep "what does he need?"

"Nappy change" Sara replied as she climbed out of bed. Grissom did the same and took James from her "I'll do it" he said and got out of the bed. Sara followed him "Gil you don't know how to change a nappy"

"Then show me how to?" Grissom asked as he grabbed the bag that had James' nappies and spare clothing for both him and Sara. Sara smiled and grabbed the bag and pulled out some wipes and a clean nappy. "Okay...lay him on the bed..." she said and Grissom did what she said. She gave him instructions on how to change a nappy and when he had finished he lifted James up on his hip "not bad for your first time" Sara smiled and Grissom smiled back then looked at James. "What do you think bug? Did daddy do a good job?"

James grinned and nodded his head then yawned. Sara smiled at them then climbed back into bed. Grissom laid James down on the bed then got in himself, he stared down at him watching him and began to gently stroke his hair. James made a happy sighing noise and closed his eyes as he snuggled up to Grissom's chest. There was a few minutes silence before Grissom looked up at Sara "he's amazing Sara, thank you for coming back"

"I wasn't planning on coming back but he wanted to meet you...he has pictures and I've told him about you...well as much as I can tell a 2 year old about his dad anyway" Sara chuckled. "I'm glad he wanted to meet you" Sara smiled and Grissom smiled back "me too". The room fell silent again, apart from the slow breathing of a sleeping James.

"Maybe we should go shopping tomorrow?" Grissom asked after about 20 minutes.

"Shopping? What for?" Sara asked.

"Paint, stencils... stuff for James' room. I thought maybe turning the office into his room would be a good idea" Grissom shrugged.

Sara smiled and put her hand on his cheek "I'd like that...thank you"

"No need to thank me Sara, I told you this is what I want...you and James...right here with me...and we can't have him sleeping with us all the time. Not if you want him to see what I'm going to do to you when I get the chance" he said, whispering the last part and chuckled at Sara's surprised gasp.

"Gilbert Grissom! What makes you think you'll be doing anything to me?" Sara smirked, knowing full well that she'd let him do anything to her. Grissom chuckled and grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it "oh honey I know you'd let me do that to you...we've done it before" this time Grissom smirked and grinned as Sara blushed, her stomach doing back flips. "Night Sara" Grissom smiled.

"Night Gil" Sara replied and they both soon fell into a peaceful sleep again until the morning.

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**So what do you guys think? good? rubbish? whatever you think let me know...I think i'm going to continue this story although I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to be. Hopefully it won't be too long but I love writing so it could be quite long depending on where I want to stop it lol. **

**Thanks for reading :D x  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone...next chapter is here :)**

**I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING **

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**The bright morning sun shone through the curtains and Sara stirred from her sleep, she opened her eyes slowly and blinked a few times. She turned her head to find the bed empty, Grissom and James nowhere to be seen.

Sara sat up and smiled as she smelt the familiar smell of freshly brewed coffee and pancakes. Just then the door opened and James ran in and jumped onto the bed "orning mommy" he climbed onto Sara's lap and gave her a hug.

Grissom stood at the bed smiling with a tray in his hands which held the pancakes and coffee that Sara had only seconds before smelt. "Good morning, me and James made you breakfast" he grinned even more as he placed the tray on Sara's lap once James had climbed off. Sara smiled brightly up at him "thanks" she gave him a small kiss on the lips and James giggled which caused Sara and Grissom to laugh.

"Right I'll leave you to eat your breakfast, I'm going to begin with the change around" Grissom smiled and was about to walk away but Sara grabbed his wrist. "Stay...then I can help you" Sara smiled and Grissom went to sit on the other side.

Sara ate her breakfast with the help of James and Grissom, she wouldn't take no for an answer when she offered Grissom some which in turn made James wanting to be fed by his mother. As she swallowed the last bit of her coffee, pancakes already eaten, she hummed and grinned "hmmm that was delicious, thank you" she kissed Grissom again, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away.

"Me kiss!" James shouted and sat on Sara's lap again, Sara quickly moved the tray before James sat on it. James wrapped his arms around Sara's neck and kissed her, Sara kissed him back "thank you to you too Jamesy bug." Grissom's eyes widened at Sara's nicknamed for James but then chuckled. Sara looked at him a little confused "what you laughing at?"

"Oh nothing...Sarasy bug" he climbed from the bed, taking the tray with him, and sniggered as he walked out the door. Sara rolled her eyes and laughed "well what do you expect when his father's an entomologist" Sara shouted and then chuckled and looked at James for a few seconds before she climbed out of bed, James following her.

"Right little man I think we should get you dressed" she said as she grabbed his clothes from the bag. She got him dressed then left him playing on the bed with one of his favourite books while she got dressed herself.

Once she was ready she came back into the bedroom "shall we go find daddy, see what he's doing?" she said and James quickly climbed of off the bed and followed Sara. "Daddy...daddy" James shouted as he checked each room but didn't see Grissom. "In here" Grissom shouted and Sara and James made their way to the office where Grissom was boxing stuff up.

"What doing daddy?" James asked as he stood and watched Grissom. Grissom stopped and looked at James "daddy's moving all this stuff to make room for your bed and toys" James nodded, not really knowing that this was going to be his new room but smiled happily anyway and helped put Grissom's things into the boxes. Grissom smiled and continued while Sara also began to help.

Two hours later the office had been cleaned out and Sara and Grissom stood in the middle of the room "right, you want to take the wallpaper of now or when we come back?" Grissom asked and Sara thought for a few seconds "cup of coffee then take the wallpaper of then go shopping" she smiled and Grissom chuckled and made his way to the kitchen, James following him.

Sara looked around the empty room again and smiled happily then followed Grissom and James to the kitchen. Grissom handed Sara her cup of coffee then sat down, Sara thanked him and sat down next to him. She watched James as he slowly took sips from his cup of juice "I haven't got anything smaller, sorry" Grissom explained and Sara looked at him "it's okay, his beaker's in my bag. I'll get it out ready for next time"

"You sure that's a good idea? He might get it everywhere"

"He seems to be doing alright now" Sara smiled as she again watched him carefully and slowly take sips from the adult sized cup, so far he hadn't spilt any which surprised both his parents but at the same time didn't as they knew that he was a very intelligent boy.

But with CSI's as parents what would anybody expect a child produced by them to be but intelligent. James finished his juice and licked his lips as he placed the cup on the table, he looked up at his parents and grinned "no mess... i'm a good boy" he continued to grin.

Sara and Grissom grinned back "you sure are a good boy Jamesy bug" Sara said. James climbed down from the chair and walked over to Grissom and took his hand and pulled on it. Grissom put his coffee down and stood up, James began to pull on his hand "come on daddy" he said and Grissom followed him "where we going James?" but James didn't answer.

Instead he carried on pulling on Grissom's hand until they reached the book case, James pointed upwards "book" he said and Grissom grabbed the book that he was pointing too. Grissom looked at the book then at James "James I think you're a bit too young for this book"

"What book?"

Grissom was slightly startled and turned at Sara's voice "oh erm encyclopaedia of entomology" Grissom looked confused at Sara's grin.

"The book you bought me for Christmas...he loves it, he likes to look at mine all the time...what can I say, he's like his dad" Sara grinned.

"Hmm in every kind of way huh?" Grissom chuckled

"Well he's stubborn and I'm sure he doesn't get that from you but everything else is definitely you" Sara grinned and Grissom smiled brightly "I guess he is a mini me with a bit of the Sidle stubbornness thrown in there for good measure" Grissom said and both adults laughed.

"Daddy, book" James said and Grissom passed him the book "there you go son" he said and James grinned and carried the book over to the sofa where he sat it on his lap and began to flip through the pages slowly admiring the pictures as he had done since he was a young age.

Grissom walked up to Sara and took her hand "stay there James, mommy and daddy are going in the other room" Grissom said and James didn't answer as he was too busy looking at the entomology book. Grissom smiled and shook his head and lead Sara into the empty office.

Before Sara could do or say anything Grissom pinned her against the wall and kissed her furiously but passionately. Sara moaned against his lips and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to her.

Grissom pushed his body into Sara's, trapping her against the wall and his body. Sara gently bit his lip making him groan, he pulled away and Sara let out a small disappointed moan from the loss of contact. He leaned his forehead against her's and they both starred into each other's eyes as they breathed heavily "I've wanted to do that all morning" he said between breathes which made Sara smile even more. Grissom took a few steps back "we better get stripping" he said.

"Excuse me?" Sara said slightly shocked. Grissom looked at her and then realised what he said "oh no I didn't mean strip as in me and you I meant strip the walls" he explained and Sara relaxed "oh i thought you meant us. I was going to say, at least wait till James is in his own room before we do that" both adults laughed and got to work stripping the walls.

Three hours later and the walls were stripped, it would have taken less if James hadn't come in and started to 'help' by throwing the paper at his parents and making them end up in a heap on the floor laughing at their family fun time.

With the walls stripped Grissom went to get a rubbish bag so they could tidy the room up, as soon as he went out the door James grabbed some paper and threw it at Sara. Sara gasped "why you little monkey" she said and threw some paper back at him. James giggled and ran round the room, picking up paper and throwing it at Sara at the same time.

Grissom heard them laughing and smiled "god I love them" he whispered to himself before making his way back to the room. When he walked back into the room and saw what James was doing he laughed "James what are you doing to mommy?" he asked and James carried on throwing paper over Sara, burying her under the paper, Sara was laughing "well don't just stand there, help me!" Sara laughed and Grissom smirked.

He dropped the bag and walked over to Sara and James and bent down on his knees. He picked up a handful of paper and was about to throw it on Sara but changed his mind and threw it at James who was a little shocked and stumbled and fell on his bum.

James again looked shocked but then began to giggle, Sara sat up and grabbed James and began to tickle him. James squealed and began to giggle even more, wriggling to get out of his mother's tickle attack "no...no...no" he said as he giggled and tried to crawl away but Sara wouldn't allow him too.

"Daddy help me!" he shouted and Grissom laughed. He grabbed Sara by the waist and she screamed as he pulled her back and began to tickle her "ahhh Gil, no...stop" she laughed and tried to grab his arms but couldn't, James watched and giggled them joined in tickling Sara.

Sara screamed again and laughed harder trying to get away from both of her boys. A few more seconds of tickling and Grissom stopped, James a second after, then laid on Sara's stomach and chest. Sara wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head "you James Gilbert Grissom are really a cheeky little monkey aren't you" she chuckled at James' big smile.

Grissom grinned and felt very proud of his son's name then grabbed the bin bag and began to shovel the paper inside, James climbed of off Sara and helped and Sara got up and helped. The bag was full of paper within 10 minutes.

Grissom went to put the bag outside for the bin men while Sara cleaned and changed James' clothes. Grissom came back just as Sara pulled her top off, he stopped in the doorway and Sara looked up. She smiled shyly and grabbed a clean top and put it on.

Grissom stood rooted to the spot, her body still looked exactly the same as he remembered it and his body had responded immediately. He swallowed and moved quickly over to his draws and changed quickly, so quickly that Sara had only just finished putting her clean trousers on.

Sara was surprised to see Grissom changed when she looked back up "ready?" she asked and Grissom smiled and picked James up "come on little bug let's go shopping" he smiled at James and James smiled back "opping" he shouted excitedly.

Grissom made his way to the car with Sara following him. Grissom strapped James in while Sara climbed into the passenger's side, Grissom climbed into the driver's seat then drove to town.

They came back 6 hours later with a car full of everything that they would need to re-paper and paint the walls as well as a new carpet that James had picked out himself.

They got white wall-paper so that it would be easy to paint the walls with the yellow and blue paint. They got a border with spiders on because that was James' favourite animal, Grissom found out while they walked around and James saw it and got so excited that other customers where chuckling at him. They bought bug pillow cases and quilt covers which again James got excited over.

Once they put everything up in James' room they had a cup of coffee, James had juice, and while James played with his toys Sara and Grissom talked. "Well that was an eventful day" Grissom chuckled and Sara smiled "I didn't know he liked bugs that much"

This made Sara laugh "oh yeah, he goes crazy every time he sees one. I told you he takes after you" Sara smiled and Grissom grinned proudly.

There was a few minutes silence while they each took a few sips of their coffee then Sara spoke "tomorrow I'll get the stuff we need shipped over. The rest can be sold with the flat. So I'm afraid you're going to have to have me and your son in your bed until his room is decorated and his bed has arrived" Sara smiled.

"That suites me just fine" Grissom smiled back.

They finished their coffee and Sara made some dinner while Grissom played with James.

Once dinner was finished with Grissom's help Sara bathed and put James to bed then they both cuddled on the sofa while watching a film and talked about what they were going to do with James' room then went to bed once the film had ended.

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**What do ya'll think? hope you enjoyed it.**

**R&R please...let me no what ya think :)**

**Next chapter will be up in a few days or sometime next week :D **

**CSI-Loz xxx  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**I said I'd try to get the chapter chapter up for New Year so here it is :) **

**I own nothing **

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Sara was the first to wake up and looked over to see James cuddled up to Grissom. She smiled at the sight and climbed slowly out of bed so not to disturb her two favourite boys.

She made her way into James' bedroom and began to paste the wallpaper up. She had a few sheets of paper up when Grissom came up behind her. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder then her neck "good morning my beautiful butterfly" he mumbled against her neck.

Sara grinned at his statement "good morning to you too my handsome bugman" she replied and turned in his arms.

They both chuckled before Grissom leaned in and captured her lips in his for a slow love filled kiss.

Grissom pulled away after a few minutes and looked round the room "can I join in?" he asked playfully as he knew he didn't really need to ask.

"Of course" Sara answered while chuckling and went back to the paste table "I'll paste you hang?"

"Yes ma'am" Grissom saluted and they both laughed and got to work.

They were on the last strip of wallpaper which Grissom was about to hang it up when James walked into the room rubbing his eyes. Sara turned her head and smiled "morning sleepy head, you okay?"

"Wee wee" James said as he walked up to Sara.

Sara wiped her hands on the cloth then took James' hand and lead him into the bedroom where she pulled the potty out of the bag and let him have a wee.

Once James had finished Sara emptied the potty while James made his way to Grissom.

Grissom had just finished putting the last strip of wallpaper up when James walked up "daddy me help?" he asked and Grissom looked at him once he was sure the strip wouldn't fall down.

"Daddy's finished now but you can help paint later, after breakfast" Grissom said.

James nodded "okay daddy...bekfast now" James said and Grissom picked him up and headed out the door.

Sara stepped out of the bedroom and smiled. Grissom smiled back "breakfast time what would you like?" he asked and carried on walking.

Sara followed him "hmm how about pancakes?" Sara asked.

"Yeah ancaks" James said and grinned. Sara and Grissom chuckled "pancakes it is" Grissom said and placed James on a chair. Sara kissed the top of James' head then went over to the coffee pot "coffee?" she asked as she turned it on.

"Please" Grissom said as he grabbed the ingredients to make breakfast. Sara poured a glass of juice for James while the coffee was being made. Once the coffee was made and poured Sara placed both cups of the table and sat down "coffee's ready" she said.

"Thanks honey" Grissom replied as he just finished cooking the first few pancakes and put them onto a plate. He placed them in front of James and Sara poured on some syrup and cut them up into small pieces then handed James his fork. James grinned and licked his lips and began to eat his pancakes, syrup trickling down his chin.

Sara chuckled and smiled a thank you up at Grissom when he placed a plate full of pancakes in front of her. Grissom smiled back at her before pouring some more mixture into the pan and cooking his own. Once his was ready he put them on a plate, shut the stove off and sat down and ate his pancakes.

Sara finished first and helped James eat his as he was getting most of it over his face and clothes rather than in his stomach.

Grissom finished just as Sara fed the last mouth full to James. He grabbed Sara's and James' plate as well as picking his own up and placed them in the sink. He was about to wash them when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned his head "let me do that, you go give James a bath" Sara said softly and smiled. Grissom smiled back and nodded handing the cloth to Sara then went to pick up James from the chair. "Come on bug let's get you washed" he said as he carried him to the bathroom. He placed him on the floor and turned the tap on letting the water fill the bath.

As he waited for the bath to fill he walked into the bedroom, James following him, and grabbed some of James' clothes from the bag then made his way back to the bathroom. He smiled as James followed him again.

Grissom tested the water and once it was at the right temperature he turned the taps off and turned round to James who had begun to undress his self. He had gotten his trousers and night nappy off but his top was stuck around his shoulders and head. James was struggling to get his top off when Grissom pulled his top off "silly bug" Grissom chuckled and James giggled. Grissom lifted James into the bath and James began to pat the water as soon as he was sat down.

Grissom grabbed the jug and filled it with water then poured it over James, he continued to do this until James' hair and skin was wet. "Spider" James shouted.

"There is no spider James" Grissom asked confused, forgetting that James had a rubber spider he played with when in the bath.

"Spider" James shouted again. Grissom was about to say that there was no spider when he realised what James meant. He grabbed the rubber spider from the shelf above and dropped it into the water. James immediately grinned and began to play with the spider while Grissom washed his face and body. He rinsed James' body of soap then poured some shampoo into his hand and rubbed it into James' hair.

Sara stood in the doorway and watched as Grissom gently worked the shampoo into James' hair while James played with his spider. "Close your eyes James" Grissom said as he scooped some water into a jug, covered James' closed eyes with his hand and poured the water onto his head rinsing away the shampoo. He did this a few more times to rinse away the remaining shampoo, James spluttered a little when the water went over his nose and mouth.

Grissom tried to reach for a towel but was surprised when he was handed it. He turned his head and smiled at the sight of Sara "thank you dear" he said as he took the towel and stood up. "Come on James, let's get you dried and dressed then we can get to work on painting your room" Grissom said and James immediately stood up and let Grissom wrap the towel around his body and lift him from the bath. Sara held her arms out but was surprised when Grissom held him closer "let me?" Sara smiled and dropped her arms, gave James a quick kiss on the cheek then gave Grissom a quick kiss on the lips before she pulled the plug from the bath. Grissom smiled and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, Sara following him as she was curious on how he'd handle dressing James.

Sara was slightly impressed at the ease in which Grissom dressed their son and slightly jealous as James seemed to enjoy it.

Once James was dressed and his hair fully dried he ran upto Sara and jumped into her awaiting arms. "Ook mommy, daddy ressed me" James grinned and Sara smiled and said in surprise "he did...shall we see if daddy dressed you correctly?"

James nodded and wriggled in Sara's arms. Sara placed him on the floor and James ran up to the mirror. He inspected himself for a few seconds before turning round to face Sara and grinned happily. Sara smiled back while Grissom watched from his seating position on the bed.

He was quite surprised at how smart James was and acted older than he was but smiled when he realised that both him and Sara are scientists which, he assumed, would make any child they have be as smart, if not smarter, than they are. He didn't realise Sara had sat next to him until he heard her voice right next to him "what are you smiling at?" she asked.

Grissom looked at her and smiled even more "we have a genius child" he whispered and Sara grinned "yes we do...there's just one thing that he's got that neither of us do" Sara said and Grissom looked at her, waiting for her to carry on "he's not scared of letting his emotions show and he's very sociable" Sara said.

Grissom looked at James, who was now sat on the floor playing with one of his toys, then looked back up at Sara "that's a good thing Sara, at least he won't make the same mistake I did" Grissom said sadly. Sara looked at him questionably and he took hold of her hand, kissed the back of it and said "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through Sara..."

Sara opened her mouth to speak but was shushed by Grissom's finger on her lips "...let me speak?" he asked and Sara just nodded.

"...I never meant to hurt you, I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing you away from me. I didn't want to let you in because if I did and then later you decided that I was too old and leave me for someone your own age it would kill me... and lab policy didn't help either. It wasn't the fact I was scared of losing my job, that I could handle but again the whole age difference entered my mind and if I did lose my job then I lost you too..." he spoke in a whisper but was cut off when Sara kissed him slowly then pulled away just enough to whisper against his lips "you would never lose me...I've loved you from the moment I met you. I don't care about the age difference Gil all I ever wanted, and will always want, is right here in front of me... you Gil, you are what I want and who I will always want. I don't care about men my own age, they'd just treat me like some kind of possession but you don't. You never saw me as just a pretty girl who you could show of to your mates..."

"Never Sara" he interrupted her "I admit your beauty was the first thing that stood out when you walked in to that lecture room but then as you fired question after question at me I knew you were very very smart and that made me love you even more" he finished and threaded his fingers through her hair.

She closed her eyes at the touch of his fingers and let a lone tear escape her eye. Grissom quickly wiped it away, leaned in and kissed her slowly.

Sara ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his head closer to her, deepening the kiss. Grissom pulled away before they got carried away even further "not yet...we can't, not in front of James, you know that" he said.

Sara nodded "our stuff should be here in a few days" she said, her voice giving away her need. Grissom closed his eyes, he wanted her just as much as she wanted him and in a few days they would be able to finally have what they had been wanting and waiting for since Sara had come back.

Grissom pulled away from her and stood up "shall we go paint?" he asked her and he turned his head as James shouted "paint! paint!" he shouted and stumbled to his feet. Sara stood up "you go ahead, I'll be there in a minute" she smiled and Grissom and James made their way into James' bedroom.

Once they were out of the room Sara pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled a number. On the third ring someone answered "Willows"

"Hey Cath, I was wondering if you could babysit James tonight?"

"Sure I can, what time do you want me to bring him back?"

"Well actually I was hoping he could spend the night at yours?" Sara asked a little nervously.

"Oh...Oh right yeah of course he can. Bring him round when you're ready...Sara?"

"Yeah"

"Does this mean you're staying?" Catherine asked hoping that Sara would say yes.

Sara smiled into the phone "yes, yes we are staying... for as long as Gil wants us"

This made Catherine chuckle "oh Sara if I know Gil he'll want you for the rest of his life...and since when did you start calling him Gil?"

"I hope so coz I really don't want to leave again and since we came back here. I guess he wants me to call him by his given name being as we're together"

"Finally!" Catherine shouted down the phone and they both chuckled "sorry but you two are just made for each other"

"Hmmm like you and Warrick" Sara smirked at Catherine's gasp "oh come on Cath I know you like him and I know he likes you. So for god sake do something about it" Sara half shouted, playfully, down the down.

"Alright alright...mom" both women chuckled again. "Mommy!" Sara heard James shouting "Cath I gotta go, James is shouting me. Thanks for tonight I'll drop him off around 5 okay?"

"Yeah sure no problem, see you then, bye"

"Bye" they both cut off at the same time and Sara pushed her phone into her pocket while walking to James room. "Alright boys let's get this show on the road" she said as she rubbed her hands together and gave them both a warm smile before picking up a paint brush.

She gave Grissom a small wink and he raised an eyebrow at her but she just smiled at him and started to paint.

They painted until all the walls had been covered with either yellow or blue. The door wall and window walls were painted blue and the other two walls were painted yellow. As they put their paint brushes down Grissom said "dinner time" and they made their way into the kitchen. Sara put James in the living with some of his toys and went to help Grissom. "We have the night to ourselves tonight" she said and Grissom looked at her then turned back to the stove as he cooked the peas "why? How?" he asked.

Sara smirked "Catherine agreed to take James for the night" that's all she said on the matter and smiled as she felt Grissom staring at her back. They both went back to preparing dinner.

Once it was cooked they all sat down and ate in silence. When the plates had been emptied Sara washed the dishes while Grissom explained to James about tonight's arrangement "James can you remember Aunt Catherine?" he asked and James nodded "aunt catrin" James smiled.

"Yes aunt Catherine, well you are going to stop at her house tonight...but don't worry your cousin Lindsay will play with you just like mommy and daddy do okay?"

James' bottom lip trembled as Grissom said that he was stopping at his aunt's house but he then smiled and nodded at the sound of someone to play with. "Shall we go pack?" Grissom asked and James quickly scrambled of off the chair while nodding his head vigorously and ran off. Grissom chuckled and went to stand next to Sara. She smiled as he watched her then looked at him and her smile brightened "what?" she asked in amusement.

"You're just full of surprises aren't you" he said with a delightful smile.

"I try" she smirked and began to pull away but was pulled back by Grissom who pushed her against the counter, trapping her body between his and the counter, and kissing her roughly.

Sara responded with a moan and was about to kiss him back but Grissom pulled away, she moaned at the loss of contact. He moved to her ear and whispered "until tonight my dear" he said and then walked away to help James pack.

Sara groaned in frustration as she watched him walk away. She was definitely going to get him back for that.

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**So what do you all think? Review please :)**

**I'v started to write the next chapter but not quite sure if i should do GSR smut...let me no if you want the smut and I will try to write it (I'm not really good at th smut as I haven't wrote a lot of stuff like that before lol)**

**CSI-Loz  
**

**xxxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay I had a few reviews telling me I had made a mistake... they were right. I'd like to apologise for that but I have now corrected it and this is the real chapter 5 :Dlol with SMUT as a few of you wanted :D**

**AUTHORS NOTE: I do not own anything apart from James and the plot :)**

**Hope you all enjoy...sorry for the slightly long wait had trouble writing the smut. Evertime i wrote it I didn't like it took me 3 attempts to get it how it is. I still don't no if i like it or not but it'll have to do, don't think I can do much better lol **

**Again sorry for the confusion and mistake.  
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"Say bye to daddy James, It's time to go to Aunt Catherine's" Sara said as she pulled the back pack over her shoulder and watched as James climbed onto Grissom's lap and kissed him "bye daddy" he said then climbed off and ran to Sara.

"Bye bug" Grissom said and watched as Sara opened the door and shut it when her and James went out. He heard the car doors open and close, the engine start then Sara pulling out of the drive. Grissom sighed and smiled as he got up and got a small surprise out for when Sara got back.

Half an hour later Sara pulled up into the driveway. She got out the car, locked it, then made her way into the house. As she entered the house the lights were off but candle light lit up the room. She smiled and noticed a familiar smell in the air. She followed the smell into the kitchen and grinned when she saw Grissom stood at the table.

The table was set for two with a single rose in a jar and lit candles. Grissom walked up to her and held his hand out which she took. He led her to the table and pulled the chair out then pushed it back in once she was sat down. Grissom leaned down and kissed the top of her head before moving over to the stove. "So what's for dinner?" Sara asked from the table.

"Spaghetti bolognaise...vegetarian of course" he turned and smiled at her then went into the cupboard and pulled out a glass of red wine. He popped the cork and went over to the table "would Miss like some wine with her dinner?" he smiled.

Sara had to keep herself from laughing as his voice was very sweet and polite. Sara grinned and nodded her head "yes please" and he poured some wine in her glass, then his own. He set the bottle down on the table then went back to the stove, he checked the pasta and smiled as it was ready.

He plated the food up then carried both plates to the table and set them down "dinner is served" he said and bowed before sitting down.

"Thank you" Sara chuckled and Grissom joined in. As they ate they talked about work, friends and James.

"Hmmm that was delicious" Sara said as she placed her hand over her stomach and sat back in her chair ten minutes later. Grissom smiled as he placed his knife and fork down on his empty plate. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and smiled at Sara "I'm glad you enjoyed it" he said and got up, grabbing the plates and taking them to the sink.

Sara stood and walked to the sink "let me do that" she said as she grabbed the wash cloth from Grissom's hand. He pulled it away from her "ah ah ah I am not letting you do anything tonight. I've got some movies in the cupboard, go see which one you want to watch" he said as he began to wash the first plate.

Sara looked at him with a raised eyebrow _we have the night to ourselves and he wants to sit and watch a movie _she thought and shook her head as she made her way to the cupboard.

She scanned the contents of the cupboard and didn't really fancy watching any of the movies that where in there until she saw one that she hadn't watched for a while and was one of her favourite movies. She smiled as she pulled it out and went over to the DVD player.

The film was just beginning to start when Grissom came in. Sara smiled up at him from her lounge position on the sofa and sat up to let him sit down then laid her head on his shoulder. Grissom wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head "so what we watching?" Grissom asked.

"Food for the heart" Sara replied "it's one of my favourites but I haven't seen it in a while" she added. They snuggled together and watched the movie in silence.

As the credits rolled Grissom looked down and smiled as he saw Sara fast asleep, he couldn't help but think that Sara looked a lot like Delmar Youngblood, the main character in the film. He tried to imagine a heavily pregnant Sara and smiled even more at the thought.

"What are you smiling at?" Sara asked sleepily. She had just woken up and looked up at Grissom and was confused as to why he was smiling like an idiot. Grissom mentally shook his head and locked eyes with Sara "just thinking"

"About what?" Sara asked as she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

There was a pause, then "you"

"Oh...what about me?" Sara asked teasingly.

Grissom chuckled a little "you look a lot like the women who played the surrogate"

"I do?" Sara asked, she had noticed but didn't think much of it.

Grissom smiled and nodded "yeah...I was also thinking about a pregnant you" Grissom chuckled when Sara's eyes widened and she sat up straight immediately "you're not thinking of..."

"Shhh no I'm not" Grissom said and then chuckled at Sara's sigh of relief "although it would be good...ouch" he said and held his arm where Sara slapped him.

"Gilbert Grissom you will not, I repeat NOT, be getting me pregnant any time soon. Do you hear?" Sara said. It wasn't that she didn't want to have another baby with Grissom it was just that they'd only got together and it was way too early to be thinking about having a baby...even though they already had a two year old son but that didn't count as that was a complete misunderstanding that was now sorted.

"Loud and clear dear, loud and clear" Grissom gave her his goofy grin and Sara couldn't help but smile.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Grissom leaned in and kissed her softly, running his fingers through her hair. She let out a soft sigh against his lips as she kissed him back, placing her hands on his chest and running them slowly up to his shoulders.

After a minute Grissom pulled away and leaned his forehead against Sara's. Sara opened her eyes slowly and smiled when she saw Grissom looking at her with love filled eyes. He leaned in and began to kiss her again, this kiss being a little bit more harder and passionate than the first. Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer, deepening the kiss.

They continued to kiss in a sitting position for a few moments until Grissom gently and slowly pushed Sara down into a laying position. He laid half his body over Sara's, so not to squash her, and moved one hand under her t–shirt to feel her skin. Sara let out a soft pleasurable sigh as she felt Grissom's hand run along her stomach then up to her bra covered breast. Grissom pushed her bra up with his hand then cupped her breast and gave it a small squeeze and smiled as Sara let out a small gasp.

Sara ran her fingers through his hair then moved her hands down his back, gripped his t-shirt and pulled it from his trousers before pulling it all the way to his neck. Grissom reluctantly pulled away from her lips and allowed her to pull his t-shirt off. As soon as the top was over his head he immediately crushed his mouth against hers in a searing kiss while Sara dropped his –t-shirt on the floor and began to run her hands over his back, round to his stomach, up to his chest then round to his back again.

Sara continued to run her hands all over his back, chest and stomach while Grissom pushed her t-shirt up, pulled away from the kiss, lifted her up slightly and pulled her top over her head and threw it on the floor where it landed on top of his. He then stood up and pulled her up with him so that they were both standing.

He ran his fingers through her hair softly and leaned in to kiss her. Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Grissom deepened the kiss a little and Sara let out a surprised squeal when Grissom wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. Sara giggled as she wrapped her legs around his waist and grinned at him.

Grissom chuckled at her and began to walk towards the bedroom, when they were half way there he began to kiss her again. He continued to kiss her as he walked into the bedroom and gently laid her on the bed, he went down with her but leant his weight on one side so he didn't crush her.

He kissed his way towards her neck where he began to gently kiss and suck on the skin causing a soft pleasurable moan from Sara. She moved her head slightly so he could getter better access and moved her hands towards his belt so that she could undo it.

At the same time Grissom lifted her up slightly so that he could unhook her bra, he then slid it down her arms slowly, Sara moved her hands away from unzipping his trousers, and dropped it on the floor.

Sara lay back down and finished unzipping his trousers and pushed them down his legs as far as her arms would reach. Grissom stood up and pushed them the rest of the way then climbed back on the bed, resting himself at the side of Sara.

Sara looked up at him and watched as his eyes ran over her stomach then up to her breasts where they stopped "beautiful" he whispered and Sara gave him a shy smile. Grissom leaned back down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips before he kissed his way down to her right breast and began a slow suck on her nipple while he used his hand to alternate between caressing and gently squeezing her left breast.

Sara arched her back and gasped loudly from the pleasure of Grissom's mouth and hand and grabbed his hair and held his head to her breast.

"Gil" she whispered in pleasure and moved her other hand down to his boxer shorts where she pushed her hand inside them and took hold of his erection and began to caress it. Grissom groaned against her breast and bit her nipple softly which caused a sharp gasp from Sara.

Grissom moved over her again and moved his hands down to her trousers where he unbuttoned, unzipped and pushed them down her legs. At the same time he moved his mouth from her left breast to her right breast.

Sara lifted her hips and allowed Grissom to take her trousers off. He took her pants with her trousers so that she was fully naked beneath him.

Grissom began to lift himself of the bed and Sara pulled her hand away from him as he did.

Sara watched as Grissom took his own boxers off then climbed back on top of her. Sara sighed as she felt his erection near her entrance but he didn't make any movement to push into her.

Instead he began to kiss her on the lips then moved down her body to her breasts, then to her stomach. Sara knew exactly where he was heading and her stomach did a flip and her legs automatically opened for him.

Grissom lifted his head from her stomach and moved his body down so his head was in line with her womanhood. He looked up and smiled at the sight of her, her eyes were closed and her chest heaved as she breathed heavily.

Sara felt herself being watched and opened her eyes as she lifted her head and saw Grissom smiling at her. She smiled back but before she could do or say anything else Grissom dived between her legs and began to suck hard. Sara screamed and gripped the sheets from the pleasure his mouth was creating.

Sara thrashed her head side to side and bucked her hips as Grissom used his tongue to lick at her entrance but didn't allow it to enter her.

"Gil" Sara moaned.

Grissom knew exactly what she wanted but wasn't going to give it to her just yet. He knew that she'd probably get him back but right now he didn't care he wanted to show her just how much he loved her. He slowed his movements down to a slow kiss and ran his tongue round and round her womenhood, he moaned as he tasted her juices and Sara moaned at the same time from pleasure as well as disapproval.

Sara moved her hand to his head and gripped his hair and tried to push his head closer to her but he fought her strength and continued his slow ministrations.

"Giiiiiiiiiilllll" Sara whined and bucked her hips towards his face.

Grissom smirked against her clit and grabbed her hips to keep her from moving then moved down a little more and sucked near her entrance. Sara moaned and thrashed her head from side to side again then screamed loudly as Grissom plunged his tongue into her entrance.

He twirled his tongue around inside her causing Sara to moan loudly, her breathing quickened and she gripped his hair tightly as she felt the first signs of her orgasm surfacing.

Grissom felt her walls beginning to tighten and pulled himself out, Sara groaned loudly in disappointment but was soon silent from Grissom's lips on hers. As he kissed her he moved between her legs and rubbed his erection near her entrance.

Sara gripped his shoulders and bucked her hips to try and get him inside her but he wouldn't allow himself to enter her. "Gil please" she moaned against his lips and bucked her hips again but instead of entering her he pulled away from her.

Sara began to panic but was soon calmed down as Grissom ran his hands through her hair and looked down at her "I...I haven't got any...protection" Grissom said sadly and Sara let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding and chuckled then grinned up at him "It's okay..." but before she could finish her sentence Grissom spoke "but you could get pregnant again. As much as I want that, now isn't the right time" Grissom looked at her and she chuckled again.

"You didn't let me finish Gil, it's okay I'm on the pill" Sara smiled and Grissom smiled back before taking his erection and guiding it to Sara's entrance and pushed in slowly.

They both moaned at the same time and Grissom watched as Sara closed her eyes.

Once he was fully inside her he stayed still and let her adjust to his size. Sara opened her eyes but shut them again as he began to kiss her and move his hips slowly. He pulled out, almost all the whole way, before pushing back in causing another moan from Sara which was muffled against his lips.

He continued the slow pace for a few minutes then sped up slightly. He found the right rhythm and kept to the same pace for a good 10 minutes before Sara wrapped her legs around his waist and was awarded with him going that little bit deeper.

"Oh Gil" Sara moaned and bucked her hips. Grissom sped up slightly and leaned his head on her shoulder and thrust his hips a little harder.

Sara held onto him tightly as Grissom continued the new pace for a few more minutes but soon Sara wanted more which she voiced and Grissom complied and thrust faster and deeper.

A few thrusts and he began to hit that special spot which caused a loud moan from Sara that sounded more like a small scream.

Sara felt her orgasm surfacing and scraped her nails along his back as she moaned in his ear "Gil... coming" she panted.

Grissom lifted up to look at her and slowed his pace "not yet" he said and kissed her lips.

Sara moaned from disappointment, she didn't want him to slow down, she was nearly over the edge but now she could feel her orgasm subsiding. She moaned again and bucked her hips to try and get him to go faster but he didn't comply.

Grissom kept his slow pace as he moved his mouth to her neck and began to suck the flesh, leaving his mark. He moved to the other side of her neck and did the same to that side before he began to kiss her lips again.

Then he began to move faster and thrust harder, Sara moaned and scrapped her nails along his shoulder blades "yes...Gil...deeper"

Grissom penetrated deeper and thrust harder as he felt Sara's walls tighten around his throbbing erection and felt his own orgasm rising. But he was damned if he was going to allow himself to come before Sara so he held his own orgasm in as he thrust faster.

Sara held onto him tightly and flew her head back against the pillow and practically screamed Gil's name as her orgasm rippled through her body harder and more powerful than she had ever felt.

Grissom let his own orgasm flow through his body once Sara had started to scream and groaned against her neck. He gave a few more hard thrusts to ride out their orgasms then collapsed on top of her, both breathing heavily.

Sara held onto him and let her feet drop to the mattress as she kissed the side of his head and ran her fingers through his sweaty hair. Grissom lifted up slightly and smiled down at her and moved a strand of hair behind her ear that was stuck to the side of her face. "You okay?" he asked.

Sara nodded and grinned "more than okay...that was..."

"Amazing" Grissom finished and they both grinned at each other.

Grissom slowly pulled himself out and laid beside her. Sara snuggled up to him and rested her head on his chest and Grissom ran his hand up and down her arm slowly. Sara sighed contently and closed her eyes. Grissom smiled down at her and they stayed quiet for a few minutes.

"I love you" Grissom said and Sara opened her eyes quickly and looked at him. He'd told her before but she still found it hard to believe that those words that she'd longed to hear for so long where actually being said.

Sara smiled at him "I love you too" she leaned down and kissed him softly then resumed her position on his chest.

There were a few minutes silence again as Sara twirled her finger around Grissom's chest and Grissom rested his hand against Sara's waist. "Did you mean it?" Sara asked.

"Of course I did, I love you more than anything in the world..."

"No I meant about having more kids?" Sara asked not moving from her position.

"Oh that...yes I did mean it..."

"You paused" Sara said a slight sadness in her voice.

"I'm sorry?" Grissom asked.

"You paused then said yes...you don't have to lie Gil. If you don't..."

"Hey, I'm not lying Sara. Another James or even a little Sara would be amazing. I didn't mean to pause, I was thinking of a mini Sara" Grissom explained and Sara sat up to look at him again.

"You really want a mini me? I would have thought one of me would be enough for you to handle" Sara chuckled slightly and Grissom smiled.

"Nahhh, I'm sure I can handle another one of you. Just like we can handle another one of me" Grissom grinned and Sara laughed and lay back down on his chest again. A few seconds silence then "we'll see anyway, it might not happen" Grissom said.

"It will...I never thought I'd ever get pregnant, especially with your child but it happened" she paused and took a breath before speaking again "I was really scared, I had no one to help me or turn to. I didn't know a single thing about looking after a baby let alone being a mom, I mean I never had the perfect childhood or the love of any parent. I was scared I was going to ruin my child's life..." she sniffed and Grissom lifted her chin and saw unshed tears.

He kissed her forehead then looked into her eyes "but you're a great mom Sara and James loves you with all his heart. Don't ever doubt that, just because your parents ruined your childhood doesn't mean that you will do the same to your child or children"

"I know" Sara wiped her eyes and nodded "the moment I held him and saw his little face I knew I would be okay... but that wasn't the first time I knew I loved him" she added.

"Oh..." Grissom said, asking the question with his eyes.

"It was the first time I felt him move inside me" Sara grinned and Grissom grinned back.

"Maybe one day I'll get to feel our baby moving" he said and Sara's eyes shone and she nodded her head.

"Definitely, but maybe in a couple of years?" she asked and Grissom nodded in agreement.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Sara leaned down and kissed him softly. The kiss soon deepened and Grissom rolled so he was on top of her.

Sara squealed in delight and laughed as Grissom pinned her hands at the side of her head and stared at her seriously "what?" Sara asked.

"I've always wanted to do this...since the case where you asked me to pin you down" Grissom said softly and Sara was confused at first but her eyes brightened with excitement when she realised the position he had her in and what case he was referring to.

She looked from one side to the other then back at Grissom and smiled "I guess it's a fantasy you want to make reality?" she asked a slight challenge in her voice and Grissom smiled before kissing her.

Before she knew it Grissom was getting his fantasy and even though she'd never admit it to him it was one of her fantasies too.

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**Whayyy SMUT so what you guys and girls think...good? bad? never do it again? lol**

**Let me know :)**

**Not entily sure when the next chapter will be up as I haven't started it yet (usually I like to get half way through a chapter before posting the one before) but i'll try and get it posted as soon as I can :)**

**Think the next chapter is going to skip a few months or the story is going to be very very long haha  
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**CSI-loz x  
**


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